We had a rough night. My three year old usually goes to down to bed quite easily. But not tonight. He fell asleep, but then would wake up crying. He wanted to be held. Over and over, through tears, “Hold me, Mommy”. I held him. I laid down next to him. William took a turn. He finally fell asleep and slept through the night.
I was a little nervous that he might be sick, but he was just tired, so overly tired. And by the time I also slept, so was I. Morning came so quickly.
As I woke up, the sun beginning to stream into my bedroom, I could hear the sounds of morning. Brothers waking up. Laughing. Heading outside. I was surprised to hear Fredrick already awake as well. After a few minutes he peeked into my room and came running when he saw I was awake. He was all smiles. I sat up and gave him a big hug. I asked him if he felt better. He smiled big and exclaimed “I fine!” As I snuggled him I told him,
“Sometimes we just need to rest.
Sleep is like a reset and in the morning, everything is okay again.”
It’s so true. I don’t know that my three year old actually heard or understood any of that, but it was a good reminder for me.
When I’m tired, everything looks so hopeless. Extra noise from kids irritates me. Cooking meals or doing laundry is a chore I do with anger and self-pity. I’m short with William. I’m afraid he actually gets the brunt of my bad attitude. That negative self-talk inside of me starts shouting.
I even often talk to God about it. Sometimes it’s crying out in faith for help. Sometimes it turns to complaints and “where are you, Father?” It’s hard to be strong, to feel faithful when I’m exhausted.
But I think he understands. And rest helps. The Savior said,
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28)
When we come unto Him, we don’t struggle or stress. We don’t push ourselves beyond our limits. We breathe. And focus. We rest in Him.
I understand that sleep doesn’t actually solve all our problems. But they don’t look so ugly or impossible in the morning. And sometimes a good night’s rest just doesn’t happen very often for a mom. I know. I know it’s hard. Just do your best.
How beautiful it is that the natural rhythm of life is to sleep every night. Tomorrow is always fresh. The light of morning brings the promise and hope of a beautiful day.
