Even when life might be going good, there will be times when you or your kids might feel anxious or stressed. If you are traveling or living abroad? Honestly, it’s more likely that your lifestyle is going to bring on an extra dose of stress to your days. An essential life lesson for you as a parent, and a tool in your kids toolbox of life, is to learn how to deal with stress and respond to situations that make us uncomfortable.
Especially since we moved our family to Ecuador, I have seen myself and my kids in an increased number of “uncomfortable” situations. Language barriers or miscommunications, cultural differences, finding ourselves in our new home and missing our old home. These situations can bring on added stress and even anxiety.
In this post are 5 tips for calming down as well as ways to teach children to calm down when they are stressed or feel anxious so that they too will have the ability to cope. First of all, remember that it begins with you and me, as parents, to be an example. I will address the following list to you. As you learn to remain calm, you will also be able to teach your children skills to remain calm.
Breathe
Take ten deep, even breaths. It only takes a few minutes. Just focus on your breath. In. And out. Even better if you can close your lips and breathe through your nose. You can also try “box breathing” where you breathe in for a count (say of 4 or 5 or 6, whatever is comfortable for you), hold your breath for the same number of seconds, breathe out for that same space and hold again for the same count.
Box breathing has been something we practiced with one son in particular who we’ve noticed sometimes enters the arena of feeling panic attacks. As a result, it’s now something we can do with him, we can coach or prompt him to remember and he can now also do on his own.
Change your environment
Get outside for a walk or just to sit on the grass. Go to a friends house or visit your mom. Go to the store. Just a change of location and surroundings feels like a small reset. I’ve especially noticed that with my kids are fighting a lot or on edge, a change of scenery quickly makes life feel better for all of us.
Check in on your basic needs
Are you tired? Take a few minutes to sit down. Maybe take a nap if that’d help. Are you hungry? Eat something, especially something with protein and good fat. When those basic needs are running short, it effects your ability to handle stress or handle stressful situations.
Find Gratitude
List it in your mind or say it outloud. Just start. Sometimes it might be the big things that are easy to list off. Sometimes it helps to look for small specific things inside the moment where you are at. Notice the good and express gratitude for it.
Early on in our time in Ecuador we were getting a lot of bites and stings from ants or wasps. I remember crying after my 2 year old was stung in our yard, again, that I felt like I couldn’t even give my kids a safe place to play, free of bees or wasps or army ants or bullet ants. It felt like this wild jungle was trying to kill us off.
Okay, so that was a little dramatic. But as I tried to calm down, I found myself being grateful that it wasn’t SWARMS of bees. That my kids don’t have allergic reactions to stings. That the pain passes within a few minutes. I felt a little like Pollyanna and her “ungame” because I realized even in that situation, I could be grateful and it helped me to calm down.
EFT Tapping
There’s a lot of information about the usefulness and techniques of EFT tapping. EFT tapping uses your fingertips to specifically tap on meridian or acupuncture points to release symptoms of fear or negativity. I’ll share a favorite introduction to EFT tapping video below, but using your fingertips to tap your body, especially your head, helps to regulate emotions. This is a good point to repeat positive affirmations and let go of the stress.
Remember your purpose
What are you working towards? Why have you chosen to be where you are at? As you get through this moment, where will it lead? Remind yourself (or your kids!) about the why behind your purpose. Is it to have new experiences? Is it to learn more about the world, its cultures and languages? Is it to support someone you love or serve someone in need? At one point you felt driven and likely even prayed for such an opportunity as you find yourself in now. For example, if you pause, can this moment just be a small part of what the big goal has been all along?
Managing stress is a muscle
A good muscle to exercise is to be able to be in uncertain, uncomfortable situations and realize that many times it’s okay. It’s okay to be uncomfortable. It may even be even good for you. Then to know how to calm down if the stress or anxiousness does settle in is a skill you’ll use constantly. It is invaluable to helping your children become functioning adults. It really begins with us, the adults in their lives to be the example. And if we can remain calm, or return to calm, we’ll be able to help our kids find calm as well.
Don’t forget to save this image or screenshot the following as an easy reminder of these tools!
6 Tips to Remain Calm in Stressful Situations
- Breathe. Focus on your breath. Breathe deeply, in and out.
- Change your environment. Reset with a change of scenery.
- Check in with your basic needs. Are you hungry or need to rest?
- List things you are grateful for. Look for the good. Fear and stress disappear as you look for the good.
- Use EFT tapping. Use your fingertips to tap the top of your head and body as you choose to release the negative emotions.
- Remember your purpose and keep moving forward.
